Take a look at this old bag, who thinks that tanning until you shrivel up like a prune is somehow a good idea. This woman clearly needs about a gallon of aloe to keep that rawhide of hers from flaking off, but she also needs help...she is a tanaholic. Tanaholism is a disease and it impacts millions of people in many shapes and forms. Some tanaholics get their fix at the tanning salon and others experiment with fake tanning applications, like "Tan in a Tube."
Girls in the age range of 13-18 years will typically fall victim to "Tan in a Tube," and it may seem innocent or harmless, but beware in many cases is the first sign of a tanaholic. If you happen to have a loved one that is showing signs of tanaholism please show them the picture of Old Leather and her wrinkled no-fun bags to hopefully snap them out of it before the addiction goes full blown. Tanaholism is not only a disease affecting women, increasingly more and more men are becoming addicts. Take a look at this D-Bag, Peter Andre, who is apparently an Australian entertainer, that soaks in Coke for a perma-tan.
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/10/05/1159641431948.html?from=top5 . Here is a piece from the article, "It's not just your teeth that turn brown ... Australian entertainer Peter Andre maintains his perma-tan by smothering himself in Coca-Cola before sunbathing, his wife Jordan has revealed." I hate this guy because I first and foremost want to ravage his wife, but what kind of guy takes the time to bath in Coco-Cola to work on his tan? Yes, that would be a D-bag. If this bronzing methodology hits the streets in the greater New Bedford area I am buying stock in Coke. Or, maybe just open a Coca-Cola bathing salon. Don't get me wrong I love to be tan...I mean I am Mario Tancock, and yes I may be a tanaholic in denial, but at least I stick to the cosmic rays of the sun and apply a generous dose of 4 SPF. The natural tan or burn is the way to go. I love my white ass friends that don't apply sunblock during their first visit to the beach to.....get their "base" so that they won't burn the rest of the summer. I respect the shit out of you assholes.
There are other tanaholics that I truly respect. This would be the tanaholic that has progressed to a level of addiction that is irreversable, but who is also aware of their disease and who embrace their sickness. These fine men take their tanning seriously and usually spend half the year in Florida to maintain euphoric levels of sun intake. Will they die of skin cancer? Probably, but as long as they are happy, chillin' at the beach, and soaking in the sun with views of younger women in bikinis they are cool with me. The next time you see a guy like this at the beach, give him a head node and a lil' respect...he is slowly dying, but he is doing it on his terms and he is in it to win it as the tannest guy at the beach.
Posts
